Category Archives: Humor

No knock knock jokes, just good clean intelligent fun.

Let just restart now.

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Windows just reminded me why I don’t like it. I just resumed Vista (vmware fusion uses the hibernate function of windows) when I copied a file over…and the system promptly restarted itself. No warning whatsoever. There probably was supposed to be a dialogue box to click on, but no such box appeared because the OS had just been resumed. Only IDIOTS thinks it’s a good idea to restart your computer for you if you DON’T tell it not to. I would send a letter to Microsoft if I thought anyone would read it AND have any authority to change it. I hope for all their customers sakes that they have corrected this aberrant behavior in windows 7 or beyond. I gave up on windows (except through a VM for rare occasions) after barely becoming proficient with Vista. This means that all windows 7/8/RT/”insert rubbish here” using family and friends will have to figure stuff out on their own. I do mac and linux. Don’t need unstable operating systems.

Timing is everything

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I love it when people I know who live in totally different parts of the country, and who wouldn’t know each other from the prime minister of South Africa, take part in a colossal joke on facebook. A joke really is mostly about timing anyway, and the right thing said right before another right thing can be amazingly funny.

The funniest thing just happend.

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I had a waking nightmare that I was still working in windows.

I clicked with my left mouse button and instead of selecting, it popped up the options menu. I don’t know how many of you guys remember the glitch in windows where you click with the left mouse button and windows thinks you are clicking with the right button, but it used to happen to me all the time. Sometimes I could just click the right button, then the left, and windows would figure out that they weren’t the same button, but many times I would have to restart the system in order to fix the glitch. I’ve never worked on a version of windows that can keep up with me. I am a patient individual most of the time, but when it comes to waiting for things to load, I’m no more patient than I have to be. Windows was always glitching out on me.  (Vista’s no exception Paul.)

So, how in Lion was I popping up the options menu while simply left clicking?

My elbow was resting on the control button. That’s how.

The Quest for Professionality

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Some would have you belive that professionality is a myth. I would have you believe it is not a word in the Oxford English dictionary, but it is commonly used anyway.

But that’s off topic. My topic for tonight is going to be based off of the definition kindly provided by Websters Dictionary, who are a little less professional about what words they define.

Professionality

(noun) : the quality or state of being a professional

Submitted by: James Thompson from Massachusetts on Nov. 04, 2010 15:17

(noun) : A Combination of professionalism and personality.

During my visit to a prestigous law firm I noticed the receptionist had both a bright smile and professionality.

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A tingly feeling inside.

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Doesn’t it just make your day when you get something done that you’ve been meaning to do for forever?

Take today for instance, I’ve been “fixin ta” clean my car for about 4 months. I had a day off so, what better time to do it than the present?

While cleaning my car, I found a steering wheel cover that I had meant to put on my car’s human interface device roughly 2 years ago.

Now my car is half clean and my steering wheel gives more of an “Old Man” impression than it did…but it doesn’t burn my hands as much and grips better. A great trade says I.

Steering Wheel Cover

My old mans car just got older.

And yes, I laced the cover to the wheel instead of wrapping it. It’s more comfortable to the grip that way.

Interesting images

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Can we be less precise? I'm still trying to figure that out.

This is also used as an advertisement for the coast guard. 😉

It’s amazing what you can find when you aren’t looking for anything in particular. When I’m looking for funny pictures, all I get are retarded or revolting junk.

So…

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I heard something interesting the other day, but you wouldn’t be interested, so I wont waste your time.

I have been thinking a lot about thought lately.

Where does it come from? Does it come from the mind or the soul or the sole mind? I get confused sometimes about thought, maybe I should stop trying.

Did you ever think about how many electrons fly through a wire in a second to bring you the image you have before your eyes? Or, more correctly, the rapidly changing set of images you have before your eyes? Ha! I bet I’ve made your head hurt now, which brings us back to the original thought…thought.

So, does anyone want some digital pizza? I can afford it!

I thought pizza planet was just make believe, but then I saw that someone had taken a picture of it. Now I can see that it must be real!!!

The Internet Pizza Server is maintained by The Internet Pizza Server Elves™