“I had the complete wrong idea a out what a ‘Book Club’ was until I went to college and learned that a book can indeed cause a lot of blunt force trauma.” ~Dan Delyon
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Category Archives: Humor
Five unrelated facts you never knew about nothing.
1. Those people who believe in absolutely nothing are called Nihilists.
Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism, which argues that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value.[1] Moral nihilists assert that morality does not inherently exist, and that any established moral values are abstractly contrived. Nihilism can also take epistemological or ontological/metaphysical forms, meaning respectively that, in some aspect, knowledge is not possible, or that reality does not actually exist.
2. Stealing from wikipedia without proper credit is considered acceptable by people with no conscience.
That’s a big surprise, now isn’t it? Now to show you a picture of a whale in distress
Wait, is this a whale or a lake that just looks like a whale? Or could it be Justin Beiber? I dunno.
3. Most people won’t read this title since they have attention spans which are too small, or a lack of love for beached whales.
It’s true. The heartless human race has endured too many Free Willie films and doesn’t care any more. Which brings me to my fifth and final point.
5. Math is for people who love whales and puppies and long walks on the beach.
Us normal people will simply let the square root of pi be what it may. We have no time for times tables or simple addition. You don’t need addition to balance the checkbook, just subtraction!
Myself as a RPG Charactor
Gedeon (גִּדְעוֹן)
Level 4 Ministerial Beginner
Base skill modifiers:
| Interpretation | +2 |
| Expository Skill | +1 |
| Theological Argumentation | +2 |
| Ancient Languages | -3 |
| Cross Cultural | +2 |
| Primary Leadership | -3 |
Special Feats:
| Leading Worship | +2 |
| Leading Children | +3 |
| Technical Wizardry | +6 |
This character is especially suited for assistant pastoral positions in small to medium sized churches where the odd jobs abound. He could also function well in a medium sized church as overseer of these ministries as his intermediate leadership skills are strong, however due to the negative modifier on primary leadership, you should probably avoid placing him in this position as it may lead to critical mental fatigue.
Coin no-change
I remember I used to go with mother to the laundromat where eternity is called a “drying cycle”. To pass the time, I used to watch people to see how many quarters people would put into the slot before it started. I was disappointed around the 20th time when I realized it never changed.
Grass-hawk
I remember when I was ten and I was out mowing the grass. I recall thinking to myself that the yard would look really neat if I strategically placed a mohawk right down the center.
My dad didn’t share my artistic vision and informed me “You missed some”.
Unintentional Self Homicide Averted!
Labels can save lives.
Today I had to rush to clean a house. I had a bottle for one of the cleaning solutions I would need, but realized that I didn’t have a bottle for the second one.
Being the clever problem solver that I am, I grabbed a Frebreze bottle and emptied it’s contents into the only container I had on hand…
Later tonight, I was on the phone and needed a drink of water, so I reached for the water bottle I had conveniently left on my dresser.
First thought was, “This water is nasty!”
Second Thought was “My mouth is going numb.”
Third thought was more of a life-flashing-before-my-eyes type thing.
I’m writing to assure everyone that I’m still alive. I should regain my sense of taste sometime within the next week or so. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. This lesson was learned memorably.
Little known fact.
Healthy in New England.
I remember when my dad made me till a vegetable garden with a maddox.
In the middle of a Mississippi summer, this was brutal. Of course, I did appreciate the muscle tone I suddenly had after three weeks of using this monster. I was about 12 I think, but the ground was an awful clay stuff that stuck to the maddox making it even heavier than it already was if I tried to do it while the ground was wet…and would hardly give way if I tried to till while the ground was dry.
I forgot to mention that I wasn’t alone. My younger brother and I would take turns at it. I probably would have burned out pretty quick if it hadn’t been for the friendly competition.
I didn’t find out till I was looking for a picture of a Maddaxe just now, that it wasn’t a madaxe, it was a maddox. I had been pronouncing it slightly wrong for the last 15 years. Fortunately, it’s not a word you use every day.
I suppose every post should have a point, so my point is this:
Snowy New England winters offer much better ways to get in shape!
If you run out of driveway to shovel, shovel a neighbor. If you run out of neighbors, shovel the yard!
When you come in, you will wonder who turned the heat up to a thousand degrees, but the health benefits are wonderful!
Gotta represent
Twitter Jewel
Sometimes twitter gets the best content. Sometimes facebook. Now, my wordpress blog gets it. Congratulations for reading.
