In the down time that is the in internet as of late, it has been very difficult to get the news out that the internet is down because of a natural disaster in the far reaches of Swaziland. It seems that an African bombardier beetle battled a water buffalo, which trampled a laptop computer that was connected to the mainframe at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where a secret government program was in development. This program was being designed in coordination with the department of defense in order to suppress the entire internet globally in a matter of minutes. Our sources tell us that this new technology works much the same manner as the hydrogen bomb, but declined to provide any details as the program is still classified. The current damages from this dilemma are estimated to be approximately $12,098,473,221 dollars so far, but may rise in the near future…in much the same manner as a mushroom cloud.