The site I got these from is rather obscure and has some that aren’t funny and others that aren’t kid safe. Below is the edited version. I’m not recommending this site, just acknowledging the source.
Types of computer viruses
Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus:
You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.
AT&T virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
The MCI virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus:
This virus mutates from region to region and we’re not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
Congressional Virus:
Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Federal bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
Gallup virus:
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
Government economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Mario Cuomo virus:
Might destroy your computer, but you’ll never know since it refuses to run.
Michael Jackson virus:
Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance.
New World Order virus:
probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Nike virus:
Just Does It!
Ollie North virus:
Turns your printer into a document shredder.
Pat Buchanan virus:
Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.
Paul Revere virus:
This revolutionary virus warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:.
PBS virus:
Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Politically correct virus:
Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism”.
Texas virus:
Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.
Warren Commission virus:
Won’t allow you to open your files for 75 years.